it's OK to not be OK


This very thought has been stirring in my heart the last few days. 
For alot of reasons, prompted by more than a few things.

I think we as women in general feel this pressure strongly. The pressure to be "okay" all the time. And not just "okay" but perfect. And even, fabulous. As a Christian woman, I feel that pressure sometimes even more acutely. If you're a Christian, perhaps you feel it too. 
Every woman that walks and breathes the air on this earth feels the pressure to be perfect. Physically, emotionally, mentally... you name it.

Through subliminal and not-so-subliminal messages that scream at us through all kinds of media all day every day, every woman is told we must be perfect to be loved. 
Physically, we must look perfect. Airburshed images of unrealistic ideals are the rude examples that are forced onto us, our little girls, our culture and the men in our lives - of how we must look in order to be acceptable, to be beautiful

To always be up, happy, peppy, and OK. To be emotionally sound. 
To not cry or be depressed or sad. 

As Christian women, we sometimes feel like it's not OK to not be OK. 
Like somehow it's wrong, it's not Godly, it's not Proverbs 31 wife material to be not OK.
Like we feel it's not OK to admit - 

I'm depressed.
I feel hopeless.
I am hurt.
I feel alone.
I don't know where the Lord is in this.
And even...
I feel angry. 

I wish we could just realize that it's OK to not be OK. That it's OK to admit - "Yes, I am a hot mess today. And maybe tomorrow too." And to really love each other through it. To realize that we (and our sisters and brothers around us) are all walking through heartaches others cannot see, and things others do not know. I often remind myself - I don't know what's going on behind closed doors in that person's life. I wish we would love first, instead of judge. 

I wish we could walk up to each other and say,


 "Hey! How are you?

And instead of just blurting out a fake,

"Great thanks!" 

We could actually be OK with hearing and saying,

"Honestly, today I am not OK." 

And be OK with that. 
I'm sick of the fake-ness all around me. The fake smiles and fake words. 
Let's be real, sisters. 

We are real women. Real girls. 

And we need to start owning that. Even if it makes us different from the world, even if we feel silly or not enough, or ugly or flawed. Because real life is not airbrushed. And if we're honest about it, sometimes real life isn't pretty at all.

Darling friend, I want you to know that you are real. And it's OK to be real. When you feel OK and when you don't. Because..... 


You are not a plastic Barbie doll. You are a real, flesh and blood woman.

You are not too much.

You are always enough.

No matter what you do. No matter what you don't do.

You are beautiful on the inside and the out, because God made you and He said it was good.

Your worth does not lie in how you look. So forget about that acne, sagging skin, frizzy hair, bags under your eyes, or if you feel "fat." You are precious. You are worth more than gold.
And your body does not determine that worth.

EVER.

You are more than your pant size.

You are more than your real hair color.

You are more than the wrinkles on your skin and the flaws you hate about your body when you look at yourself naked in the mirror before you take a shower. 

You are worth more than what men say about you. Even the dearest men in your life. 
Jesus calls you His. He is enough.

You are a diamond. 

You are oh so loved. You really are.

And you are real. Be real. Be you. Don't be fake. And if you're not OK? You can tell me. Cause sometimes, I'm not OK either. And that's alright.

Love you. 

E